Do I Love Him?

Well, as for me, I am so confused of who I am to choose... It's really difficult for me... It's a melting heart I can say I could feel for this very moment... I feel that I am the most "ewan sa mga nagkakagusto sa ibang tao! Ano bah naman kasi, di ko alam ang nararamdaman niya o kaya nila"... Why can't I be happy with my life without them... They are not my oxygen "naman di bah!..." I can possibly breathe without any of them in my stupid life...

Well, as for me, as early as now, I need to decide now... Though, I can't feel any care from them... Such a jerk here... Always stays away... Breaks my heart into really small pieces... Well, now I decided, I'd not choose Boy1 and Boy2, well, I think I can still love them the way I felt for him before! But, that is "siguro" means, I am not sure yet of my decision... Well, this is my life, and even I'd be terribly hurt by everything, I can still give up and stand up, each and everytime...

Can any answers to my problems come near me... Signs that I am suppose to follow, where I could find happiness with the one I love... Signs that can make me understand that he is the one or he isn't just it... I possibly can give up anything just to see those two person I like happy... Well, I've given up Boy1 and Boy2... Just making up a big decision of my life... That was hard though, giving him up makes my heart unbalance, well I hope I'd find the same guy as he is, he's a gentleman to me, kind-very kind, I think he's a nice guy because I guess a bunch of girl goes running with him(the other one)... The second one is a silent type of guy, can't dare read his mind and both of them are really very weird, the weirdess I guess... I just like their attitude, and now, I am back to zero...Well, those description applies to each and everyone... I hope after this two days, I am back to where I started, being there, just as a good friend not a lover...

Well, my day didn't quite fit the day I have expected because I saw one of the boys and that was really terrible, I was happy 'coz he didn't see me and didn't go inside the place I was, weeah, its like I've seen a ghost... My wish really did come true, I wished that I'd see him one more time, and that time did come true... Well, for me that was weird...

I just hope that all of them will get their happiness with the ones they really like to be with and be contented in everything they did and satisfied also, with the path they'd chosen... As for me, it was quite happy because at least, I learned a lesson... That, in able to love someone, you really, really need to give them up for their happiness... Now, I feel void, null and nothing at all... I really, really hope that my feelings for them will not be known by anyone else... 'Coz, they wouldn't like knowing that I liked-d them...

Though hard, now I am happy and contented... My heart is starting(starting not yet close... "Asa pah rin ako!") to close... It's like I am inside a big jail with a big door... Unable to do anything now... Expecting for nothing... But, still living just for the true love I am waiting to unlock my heart and set me free...